A Decade of Searching for the Needle in the Haystack – Mad In America

Ever since I recovered from pharmaceutical abuse that nearly killed me over a decade ago, I haven’t used mental health services. There were many reasons for this and I can’t say I was always decidedly against them for myself, or entirely convinced I couldn’t be helped by a good therapist. Therapy had benefited me a lot as a kid, teenager and young adult (not because I had an illness and needed to be fixed, but because I had trauma and needed to be listened to).

There were many obstacles to going to therapy though: lack of therapists I could trust, times of not having health insurance, and times of being so busy that making another appointment sounded more stressful than just taking an extra nap.

There were times I had more social connection and support and therapy seemed superfluous, draining even.

There were times I longed for someone I could talk to in that one sided way, where most of the listening and attention was on me, but I never felt safe with therapists I interviewed who believed in diagnoses or psych drugs, and of course most do.

As for coaches or counselors outside of the mental health system who did not rely on diagnostic criteria for insurance purposes, I often couldn’t afford them, or if I could I was working full time and didn’t have space in my schedule. As an introvert, a few hours alone in my day is essential and I probably wouldn’t be able to give it up and retain my sanity even if I were talking to my favorite person in the world.

So, maybe you’ve figured out the punch line by now.

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About chayaleah

Wellness coach helping you stay off psychiatric drugs, and find meaningful, safe, effective alternatives. Available by skype, phone and email as well as in person.
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